I’ve decided to compete with Coca-Cola’s new C2. They claim 1/2 the carbs & 1/2 the calories of regular Coke, but with all the great taste.

Well, I’m now selling a cola that’s 1/3 the carbs & 1/3 the calories of regular Coke, but with all the great taste. I’m drinking it right now, and it’s de-lish.

The secret formula is one of the following:

* something I devised after hours of blending random chemicals in my basement

* coke + toilet water

* 1/3 regular coke & 2/3 diet coke